My Book Cover

The Bloody Halo

Marg Herder, Director of Public Information for the EEWC Christian Feminism Today asked me some important questions about the image on the cover of my book. I am happy to answer her questions and explain what this image represents to me.  She asks, "What is the meaning of the blood dripping halo?" The first time I was molested by a "man of God" was at church camp.  Many of the campers and counselors were in the pool playing volley ball and someone  grabbed me between my legs. I didn't know who had done it.  I jumped out of the pool and told the female counselors what had happened.  I thought they would tell the director and he would find out who it was.  One of counselors was the wife of the director.  Later that evening the director apologized for grabbing me and told me he was surprised at my reaction.  I guess he thought I would like it.   

Molestation

Webster's Dictionary gives this definition for molest, "To bother, annoy or persecute: to accost sexually.  This happened five different times.  Two camp directors, one church pastor, one youth minister and one regional pastor.  Each time left my teenage self feeling guilty, dirty and ashamed as if my very presence had made these "men of God sin." I had never shared this with anyone until I shared it with Marg, April 21 of this year.

Healing

Thanks in large part to the feminists in my life I have learned that this was not my fault.  Those men, who my parents and I trusted are the shame.  The bloody halo represents the pain I carried for years as a result of the actions of those molesters who pass themselves off as "men of God." 

In my next post I will address Marg's question, "Why use a white woman model, blond hair and blue eyes? This book is about middle eastern women."